Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
Sing yourself to love. Jimmy Kimmel Live/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET
The Tinder dating app is hard.
You have to feature the right pictures of yourself. You have to use the right words.
And you’re likely doing all this when you’re lover has left you, you’ve had one too many margaritas and your roommate is annoying you by playing Taylor Swift far too loud.
How, then, can you create a profile that will be a sure magnet for your target gender? I have an idea. Yes, it’s a little radical, but the minute I saw Kelly Clarkson singing some Tinder profiles, I saw the future, one that I’m sure Tinder will soon encourage.
She appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” and the Tinder profiles she sang were clearly chosen in order to enjoy the full range of her wonderful talent.
Still, who could believe that some of the most mundane-sounding lines could ever enjoy such vibrant life?
For example: “Just looking for someone to take me to a Celine Dion concert.” Yes, it’s plaintive. But once it’s sung by Clarkson it discovers a magnitude of importance that would surely have respondents swiping right, as they wiped their eyes.
What she does with the line “I have a foot fetish and willing to pay for your mani pedi nails and worship your feet,” has to be heard to be believed.
And then there’s “I’m going to China for a month. I’m looking to slip it into something before I leave.”
Clarkson gives that line an allure that it surely doesn’t deserve.
So here is your solution. Promise that you’ll sing your Tinder profile to the first ten target-sex members to swipe right. And watch the embers of love glow.