Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
William Lamberson, who allegedly texted a narcotics captain. Martin County Sheriff’s Office.
I understand that when people wish to sell drugs, they often text a known number.
Shortly afterward, a transaction is completed and a nice man arrives at the buyer’s house on a bicycle with their order.
You know: “Two number threes, a number 37 and four ounces of number 22.”
It’s not clear, though, that any police department avails itself of this service. At least not officially.
It must have been a surprise, therefore, to Martin County Sheriff’s Office in Florida when it received a text that read: “Hey, bro.” The text allegedly came through to the cell phone of its narcotics captain.
It’s true that some police departments want to be thought of as our brothers — and, indeed, sisters. I’m not sure many police officers respond as readily to “bro” as they do to, say, “sir” or “madam.”
Still, the police replied. Not with “Yo, bro,” but with “who is this.”
The reply came: “It’s will remember we met at 7-11.”
One does meet the most interesting people at 7-Eleven. I wonder how many are uniformed officers. Still, the texting back-and-forth continued until the narcotics captain offered: “Whats up,” only to receive the reply: “Not much dude wanna smoke u have any green.”
No, the narcotics captain didn’t immediately declare his need or his wealth. Instead, he texted: “I don’t know you. Send me a pic.”
By this stage, you’ll be thinking this sounded like a Tinder chat. However, it degenerated to the point where 29-year-old William Lamberson allegedly tried to sell some cocaine to the narcotics captain.
This is related not by some dry press release. Instead, the Sheriff’s Office posted to Facebook what it says are screenshots of the texts.
The sheriff’s office accompanied these texts with this message: “On September 1st, Lamberson thought he was meeting his ‘hook up’, so he could sell some cocaine, instead, he was greeted by MCSO’s narcotics detectives. He was arrested, and charged with possession of a controlled substance with the intent to sell.”
The post ended with: “It’s probably a good time to let Mr. Lamberson know, he had the wrong number.”
A spokeswoman for the Martin County Sheriff’s Office told me: “Mr. Lamberson is still in jail on a $40,000 bond. He has not yet been told by us that he was texting an officer. However, due to the publicity, he may have been told by others.”
Please remember, therefore, that whenever you’re doing business by text, it’s always worth knowing exactly who is texting you back.
Sometimes, you see, life can just blow.
Just one page of the texts posted by the sheriff’s office to Facebook. Martin County Sheriff’s Office.