Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.
For true love in space, strap yourself in.
National Geographic/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET
True love makes you feel so weightless.
But when you’re already weightless, how can you consummate true love?
This question has clearly absorbed astrophysicist and pop scientist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, who has weighed in on topics from the origins of the universe to the movie “<a href="http://redirect.viglink.com?key=11fe087258b6fc0532a5ccfc924805c0&u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnet.com%2Fnews%2Fneil-degrasse-tyson-and-bill-nye-on-what-was-wrong-with-interstellar%2F%22%3EInterstellar%3C%2Fa%3E." He can talk Batman vs. Superman as easily as he can address science literacy and US competitiveness.
He’s now looked at the prospect of sex in space from several angles. He’s considered its various moves and gestures. And because he’s a scientist he has come to a solution.
Sex in space, it would seem, could involve all those things you’ve read about or seen in “Fifty Shades Of Grey.” Or so I’m told.
Responding to a question from a fan on National Geographic’s “Star Talk,” deGrasse Tyson explained that the problem with weightlessness is that it repels rather than brings together.
“You’re floating in space and then you move towards someone and they just bounce off,” he explained. For some, this is called Friday night at the club.
DeGrasse Tyson reminded us that there’s no friction up there. “So if you want to get together and stay together, you need something to keep you together during all the normal body movements,” he said.
The solution is therefore quite familiar (to some, I understand): “Bring a lot of leather belts. Keep things strapped down and you’ll be just fine.”
This is an exhortation that surely has been uttered in many down-to-Earth venues over the centuries.
To create a bond in space, that is, you need bondage. The scientist has spoken. The scientist tried hard to keep a straight face.
I fear, though, that if Tyson is accurate, a phrase so often heard on flying machines — “Strap yourself in” — will now take on new and exciting connotations.